So, the movie starts to play yet again.
The opening scene is you,
you look sad,
you look frantic,
Welcome to the ‘I’m Not Good Enough Show’
‘I look like shit’
‘I don’t feel good’
‘What if people think I’m a horrible person’
‘Who will judge me for doing that’
‘What if he doesn’t like what I’m wearing, who I’m beeing’
‘Why am I like this’
‘Whats wrong with me’
Lalalaalalaaaaaa it goes on the spiral sucks you in more and more aaaannnd you’re gone.
When you watch tv or you go to the cinema, you are watching a movie, an imitation, a story that somebody created with their thoughts, their imagination, their mind.
You watch it, you become engrossed in it, it brings up emotions, but all the while you are fully aware that you are not that movie, you aren’t a character in that movie, as much as you might relate to and believe what you are seeing, you know, it is just a movie.
Imagine your own life, the life you live day-to-day, then recall some of your most common thoughts.
Our thoughts play out in our head like a movie does on the big screen.
Only, the majority of people, believe themselves to be the star of that movie, they believe the dialog and the script that is reeling of in their heads. They believe the script that says ‘you aren’t good enough’
So often we create a make-believe life. One that is completely removed from the truth of what actually is. This causes anxiety and self-hatred, anger, confusion and all the rest.
We can snap out of this pattern. We can learn to watch the movie that runs in our head, just we you do in the cinema.
We can be consciously aware of the thoughts that are arising, those negative beliefs we have about ourselves, about our worth, about other people, about our life, about how other people live their lives.
We can notice these thoughts and we can watch them, knowing that this is not reality, they are not who we are, they do not define us. And you, I, am not a victim to such thoughts and beliefs.
We can watch our thoughts and not become anxious, we won’t get sweaty and panic, we won’t fumble around in desperate need of distraction from the movie playing in our head.
We can watch the movie knowing that, that is all it is.
These thoughts will come and they will go. I think it’s safe to say they come to every human on this planet.
What the difference is between each human is whether they can witness the movie or whether they play, with all of there being, the main character, or they don’t.