My Self Sadhana is a space in time that I connect and come back to me.
With certain aspects of the same practices flowing throughout, my self sadhana has a steady yet relevant way of unfolding, it can look different from day to day but still provides to relevant connection and peace that I need to feel consciously connected.
This adaptation and acknowledgment of change and trust in what is arising, is a part of my self Sadhana in itself.
With the knowledge that self-care and honouring of my intuition and inner knowledge, are all areas that I need to take special care of and always come back to again and again. It is an important practice for me to take any pressure of, especially around my Self Sadhana.
Maybe one day I create my own flow and practice for two hours in the stillness of my room. Maybe the next day I am in peaceful meditation for an hour with no disturbance from the mind or anything else. Maybe the next I spend various parts of my day bringing awareness to my breath. Some days I might write in my journal in the morning and the evening. I might have time to spend hours drawing which is a meditation in itself.
My lined out, perfect plan, ideal world Self Sadhana has all of these things included in a two to three hour period.
I light my candles as the incense cleanses the room; I play the soft sounds of a flowing river in the background. I feel comfortable from a warm shower, I roll out my mat and I sit down on my comfy pillow with my favourite blanket around my legs. I grab hold of the crystal that is calling for me from the Altar and, I meditate.
Once I hear my body calling for movement I push aside the pillow and blanket and I flow. For as long as my body decides it wants to.
I lay calm and soft on the ground beneath me and I thank the universe for all that I am and all that I have.
My journal is close by ready for me to pour all of my great insights and inspiration and revelations into.
This is indeed the ideal Self Sadhana practice for me. When it happens it is great, I love it and I am grateful for it.
But, in reality, my everyday Self Sadhana includes parts of this perfect picture.
In reality, by the time I worked forty hours of the week, prepare and eat healthy nourishing food, go to a handful of yoga classes at the studio and rush to the gym a few times a week. By the time I finish whatever painting I am working on or draw whatever shape or mandala is exploding from my head and heart, by the time I have updated my website, spent time with my love, called my family, well, there isn’t always room for the ideal three hour a day Self Sadhana practice.
What I have realised, what has actually become my real Self Sadhana, is to honour how I feel during all of these moments.
Recognising and letting go of the immense pressure I put on myself to achieve all of these things in one day. I let go of the belief that I must go to the gym or a yoga class every day. I give myself a break because I didn’t find time to sit in silence for thirty minutes in a day. I don’t let the judgment creep in because a certain art work is taking up to much time.
I have I accept that I cannot do everything, all of the time.
Instead I practice gratitude for the small periods in time that I become aware of the silence and take a few deep breaths. I recognise the ten minutes I sat early in the morning as a meditation practice.
I honour the at home practice that my body created as a ‘real’ practice and that it is better than any class I attend at a studio because its directed by my soul and it’s what my body needs. I respect the time and effort that my creations take, they are raw expression and they deserve time and patience and love. I appreciate my work and the fact that I am surrounded by books full of knowledge and experience, and I acknowledge the feeling I have when I find a quiet moment to read.
My practices and passions, whether it is Yoga, Meditation, Drawing, Writing, Painting all deserve time and love. They definitely do not deserve pressure or resentment, and neither do I.
My Self Sadhana has been developing over a long period of time and will continue to evolve. It has taken me many lessons, down days, frantic worries and all of the pressure for me to learn that I am good enough and what I do is good enough, including my Self Sadhana, in any shape or form it may take on any given day.
and when those precious ‘perfect ideal’ Self Sadhana Practices occur, I love and appreciate them as much as I love and appreciate all of the other aspects of my practice.