WORKSOP

Feel the fear and do it anyway, that’s what I have read, heard and am in fact doing.

There are many things that scare me about holding a workshop. Ever since I can remember I have hated, almost be innately against people looking at me.

All eyes on me = absolute worst nightmare.

I won’t even have people sing happy birthday to me.

Aside from this fear that has been with me since I who knows when, there are the usuals…

What if I don’t know enough, who am I to talk or teach this, what if I mess up, what if it’s not fun, what if noone comes.

All of which, in one way or another equate to me feeling like i’m not good enough.

Previously I have let these thoughts and fears hold me back. These days, if I feel that fear rising, I head straight into it, legs shaking, heart beating and stomach turning. I jump.

And usually, it’s alright, sometimes it’s even better than alright.

Sometimes I stutter, sometimes I miss out all the best parts because of my nerves, sometimes I go bright red. But, so what, is that the worst that can happen? Maybe there is worse, even if THE worst happens, so what?

Nothing.

So in the name of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, I have arranged to share one of my great loves. This will require me to show up, fully, wholeheartedly, invite others in and open up. Which I also don’t do easily.

The very first step to doing this was to actually invite people in. Let people know that this would be happening, that I would be doing this.

What happens?

I release, post and share a flyer that instead of saying ‘Mandala Making Workshop,

Says ‘Mandala Making WORKSOP’

So, when my best friend sent me a message a few hours after the post had gone letting me know with a shocked, cross eyes emoji, that there was a spelling mistake on my flyer, I felt a few emotions surge through my body.

First the red flood that encases my whole body when I’m pressured. Then the flash of embarrassment, but then, a laugh and a deep love and appreciation for myself.

That, is absolutely 100% classic me.

To have a spelling mistake on my leaflet for my first mandala workshop. Before the anxiety and rush of negative thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks, a nice feeling crept in. I couldn’t help but see and love myself in that moment. That brilliantly perfect mistake I had made. Small, but big but ultimately, me.

Before the anxiety and rush of negative thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks, a nice feeling crept in. I couldn’t help but see and love myself in that moment. That brilliantly perfect mistake I had made. Small, but big but ultimately, me.

For years I resented this part of me.

‘How could you be so stupid, you never do anything right, you cant even spell, people will think your an idiot’

But today, I can see that, in feeling the fear and doing it anyway, something has indeed not gone to plan and even better, I have indeed already gained an invaluable lesson from me showing up and offering this workshop.

I have learned to love me and all my little ways, my characteristics and ‘mistakes’.

Instead of hating and turning my back on that part of me, the little girl I Invision who would be ashamed of such a thing, I pick her up, spin her around and give her a big fat kiss, because she is showing up and bringing all of her ways with her. And thank the universe for that.

So come to my WORKSOP and learn with me. You will never learn from me how to spell, how you ‘should be’, or how to ‘do it right’. But you will learn to laugh, at your self and life, you will learn to love, yourself and others, and I hope with all of me, that you will learn you. The ever changing and evolving wonder that you are.

You will never learn from me how to spell, how you ‘should be’, or how to ‘do it right’. But you will learn to laugh, at your self and life, you will learn to love, yourself and others, and I hope with all of me, that you will learn you. The ever changing and evolving wonder that you are.

With love,

Charlie x

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