I found yoga, or should I say yoga found me about six years ago.
Within these six years, I have developed a self-practice, attended classes, workshops, completed a 200hr Vinyasa teacher training, fallen in and out of love with yoga and near enough broken up with yoga altogether.
I have been deep in the practice of yoga and all that it brought.
I have remembered myself and discovered parts of me that I never knew existed.
I discovered a deeper meaning of what it is to live and understand on unexplainable levels what it is to love.
I learned how to listen, to myself and others.
I learned how to hear my mind and body.
I learned how to support myself and show compassion.
Yes, my yoga journey has changed my life in incomprehensible ways, it is a path and practice that I have dedicated my life to and hope to create space for others to do the same.
Lingering alongside this honest, raw, beautiful path though is a dangerous stigma.
One that is portrayed a lot of the time by ‘yogi’s’ and ‘teachers’ themselves.
The stereotype that all yogis are peace incarnate.
Zenned the fuck out 24/7 and enlightened beings that somehow know more than every other person walking the planet.
This is not the truth.
It is not all sunshine, butterflies and Om’s.
In fact, it’s the hardest path I have walked upon.
There is a well known saying ‘ignorance is bliss’
I feel like I finally understand where that comes from, Because a self-practice, be that yoga, meditation, journaling or golf.
Whatever it is for you, whatever takes you to the depths of your mind, body and soul. Whatever has opened your eyes to your SELF.
That is a rollercoaster of the finest superiority.
I have been pissed off with my practice, pissed off with my apparent abilities and inabilities.
I have been emotionally depleted by raw realizations.
I have been a total mess as my life as I knew it unraveled in the blink of an eye.
I have been overwhelmed with what life is.
I have been low, low, low and with no ignorance to bliss me through the storm.
It has been brutal.
To ride along this road, for me, means honesty not ignorance.
So to be on this journey and to have chosen this path is empowering. But to see how it can be misrepresented has halted me in my tracks for the past few years.
For a long time, I have been confused about how this seems to be an industry and not a very authentic one.
I have been uneasy and out of alignment with the message that yoga seems to represent. Online, social media, even within my community.
I have doubted whether it was actually right for me to be a yoga teacher, whether I even liked yoga.
Predominantly all I see is this ‘yogi stereotype’.
‘I’m super skinny, I do everything right and I don’t have a job or have to go through anything that’s hard. I always were designer clothing and wake up in these matching ensembles. I only eat organic foods and I have unlimited funds to do so. I travel every day and only practice to a perfect sunrise’’
From the idea portrayed on social media to my real life personal experience of…
‘Um, you’re not doing it right, Warrior two looks like this’
‘If you aren’t going deep into a pose, you probably have an emotional blockage you need to deal with’
‘Cant you straighten your legs?’
‘If you keep pushing eventually you will get there’
Oh my goodness!
This isn’t yoga, this isn’t being a yogi…
Through all of these experiences, all of this practice and experimenting and development and movement and connection, It isn’t until these past ten days, sitting through and completing my 100 hr Yin Teacher Training that I have finally discovered, all of that isn’t yoga, and I don’t have to be that as a teacher.
I know now that I’m not ‘doing it wrong’ if I don’t do it like that.
I have realised that it is safe and okay for me to create a space for you to be with you.
I was at a standstill not knowing where to go and who I could be as a yoga teacher.
The ways in which I had been ‘taught’ to ‘teach’ just didn’t align within me, who I am or what I believe in, or what I believe yoga is.
I questioned whether it was for me.
Until I completed my 100hrs Teacher Training in the beautiful and fascinating Yin Yoga.
The empowerment I feel in knowing that it is safe for me to empower somebody in themselves as a student, as a person, as a being on their own journey.
The comfort I sit in knowing that my truth is enough to create a safe space for connection and transformation to occur, whatever that looks like.
I feel an alignment that has finally landed within myself and my practice and how I can offer that to the world.
There is nothing that I know about you, better than you do.
It is not that I know best for you or better than you, but I know, that you know.
I now stand in in my power of knowing that this is the truth and this is what I can offer as a yoga teacher.
A very honest, real, perfectly imperfect yogi, teacher, person walking with you along this beautiful and brutal path.